Super happy to announce that this little gem got published in Boulder’s online publication of Rooster Magazine. It’s not the writing I want to do for the rest of my life, but for now, I’m pretty stoked. Please have a read and click on the link below to see the article with pics!
Some things get better with age: wine, cheese, sex, judgment, men. It’s the age of the silver fox and we get to reap the benefits.
We’ve all drooled over the DILF’s of Disney World instagram, fantasized about George Clooney, or may have even perused sugardaddies.com just to “see what it was all about.” Maybe you’ve dreamt about doing your professor during office hours, maybe you’ve flirted with your best friend’s divorced dad or maybe that’s just me. Either way, you should at least once in your life, date an older man. There can be a few awkward aspects – like showing him your 90’s ganster rap playlist, thinking you are the throwback queen, only to realize he saw The Beatles in concert when he was a kid – but push past them and enjoy some of these timeless benefits:
- We’re hot for teacher.
- Dating an older guy is like having a round the clock shrink, a 24/7 help desk or a built in guidance counselor. Let’s think of him as Professor Henry Jones (Senior, obviously) from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Mmm Sean Connery, Lord Commander of the silver foxes. Anyways, your personal silver fox has a lot of knowledge behind those horn-rimmed glasses and is more than willing to share it. He has been through the college thing, the job search and the impoverished first years of adulthood, and he came out on the other side. His advice is super helpful, especially if you’re in that in-between stage of life; like most of us millennials with Fine Arts degrees are.
- Sushi all day, every day.
- As twenty something college students, our budgets are pretty tight or reserved strictly for happy hour. We eat nice meals when our parents come to town or your friend with delusions of grandeur makes everyone go to Frasca for her birthday, but other than that, it’s usually something equivalent to the three-day burrito bowl you thankfully discovered in the back of the fridge. Lucky for you, your established man doesn’t want to grab Chinese take out on the way home. He believes that dinner is something to experience, to eat slowly, with lots of red wine. Dating an older gent means you get wined and dined. Would you like to add lobster to your filet mignon? Fuck. Yeah.
- Sexual Healing.
- He’s been around the block a good number of times and knows a thing or two about how to please a lady. Gone are the days of lying next to a guy who just finished all over your stomach without a thought to where your orgasm will come from. He didn’t think women actually had them but he feels bad and he’ll get you back next time, he says as he uses a dirty sock to wipe you down. Your experienced boyfriend knows that sex is not a sprint but rather a slow, steady conversation where both of you finish together in mind-blowing orgasms. Then you can go finish off that ham sammy you were really fantasizing about. Just kidding, I’m probably the only one who does that. Your mature man is a cunning linguist all about that long game.
- You’re a bad bitch and you know it.
- Going against the status quo channels your inner badass and makes you feel empowered. Having this sophisticated, gray haired guy on your arm definitely garners you some side eye from the concierge, the wait staff, the cab driver, etc. But own it. They probably think you’re being too handsy with your dad or you are sleeping with this old guy for money. What the fuck ever. Do you.
- No more decoding one-word responses.
- Unlike our peer group, your older bf is probably less reliant on text messaging for communication purposes. He doesn’t wait a certain amount of time to send a response and you don’t have to either. You also no longer need to invite your friends over for cosmos to decipher the previous days’ text convo. When he wants to see you, he’ll send a limo. No, that probably won’t happen but it’d be super sweet. He just calls with dinner reservations or tickets to a show (probably for Jackson Browne, not Pretty Lights) and you plan on that date. You don’t have to worry about him bailing because the Rockies are playing and his best friend won free tickets. He’s reliable and stable. Win win.
- No future in sight
- This can kind of sound like a bad thing, but in reality, as a young adult, you don’t want to think about marriage and children and the house with the picket fence. The good news is, neither does your boyfriend. He’s done all three and wants to just enjoy the moment. He appreciates your flighty youthfulness and lack of planning. You won’t have to worry about planning/plotting for the next ten years together.
A whole bunch of stuff gets better with age, including relationships. While this relationship is enjoyable, it’s not viable. Drink it in while it lasts; eat your fill of fine cheeses and savor in every post orgasm glow. Take it for exactly what it is: an increased perspective on what you want out of a partner and a new found appreciation for men your own age who can have sex five times in one day and who want to climb a 14er and smoke a celebratory bowl at the top. There’s an ocean between girls and guys in their twenties, so experiment a little while the tides recede. Plus, it makes for a kick ass story to tell your friends.
Hello there. Thank you for dropping by. I use this site to categorize and store previous writings and current posts for the various entities I write for - including personal, wine-infused musings on love and loss and lasagna.